The 5-Week Prediction

Weigh in tonight was 317. That's 64 pounds down.

Also, as I've mentioned, I use My Fitness Pal to help me count calories. Every day, once I've completed all my entries for the day as far as food, exercise, and water, I hit this little button that says "complete entry." It will then give me a 5 week prediction of my weight based on my calorie intake/output of that day…

It reads If every day were like today… You'd weigh XXX in 5 weeks.

Then it gives a little disclaimer stating…"your projected weight loss is an estimate based on your total net calories for today. Actual results may vary." Which is an important disclaimer. Basically it's saying that theoretically, in order for that prediction to be accurate… you would have to eat the EXACT same amount of calories and burn the exact same amount of calories every day. Which is not realistic at all. But some people miss that little disclaimer. And they get upset with MFP for not giving them an accurate assessment. Or they somehow feel like a failure because they are not hitting that weight in the estimated time period. Personally, I love seeing that little prediction. It's highly motivating to me. However… once I've looked at it… I'm done. I forget it about it. It's not like I'm keeping track of those numbers every day and then comparing them to my actual weight at the designated 5 week mark. To be honest… I have no flipping clue whether or not their predictions have been accurate for me or not.

But all that being said… I got particularly excited by tonight's prediction. Tonight's prediction said that I would weigh 297 in 5 weeks. Like I said… I don't put great stock in it…. but this was the first time that my weight has been low enough that the 5 week projection put me at below 300. And that's pretty thrilling. There is something about having a 2 as the first number that feels SOOO much smaller. That feels kinda "normal" overweight rather than "freaking huge." It is a little frustrating that I've lost almost 65 pounds and I'm still well over 300. Not that I'm letting it get me down. I'm plenty happy with how things have gone so far… but it is something that's a little demoralizing. So, it feels very good to see that number as the 5 week prediction… whether it's going to end up being accurate or not.

Props, Apologies, and Appreciation

So, I was at the gym yesterday (Thursday). I was on my last machine for weights. I had just adjusted the seat and the weight and had sat down to start my reps when a guy that was working out on a neighboring machine came over to me.

"I just wanted to say… props for the motivation." *Holds out his hand for a fist bump* "My buddy and I are here everyday and we see people come and go. But those who keep it up and work hard… well, good job."

I thanked him. He left and we both continued with our workouts. But I have to say… that pretty much made my day. He was one of those super fit and built guys. The kind that can probably lift with their pinky finger what I struggle to bench. It's nice to know that despite my piddly light weights and moderate speed (at my fastest) walks… that someone respects the efforts I've made… even though he probably does more than that on his rest days.

So my apologies to anyone who I may have mentally judged as a "meathead" and assumed they were all full of themselves. And my thanks to that guy at the gym. I really do appreciate what you said.

The One that Made Me Cry

Last night, I wore my new jeans and one of the new shirts to work. One of my co-workers commented that she could definitely tell a difference with me wearing those new clothes.

I got home and took a pic using the mirror. Then I compared it to my "before" photo taken almost exactly 4 months ago today.

And I cried.

It was the first time I've ever been able to truly see a change. A change that I really could see without chalking it up to "ahh, it may just be my own wishful thinking."

So, I put them together. To share here.

I hear on MFP that people have seen pics of themselves when they were at their heaviest weight and it made them cry. It was their wake up call. I never had that. I've always kinda hated the camera… but I never cried because of how I looked in a photo. Until I saw these two side by side. But they were happy tears.

Clothing Issues

FTR (For the record): Last weigh in came in at a 58 pound loss (6 pounds in one week). Doesn't quite make sense… so I'm preparing myself for a "stall" for a couple of weeks.

However… did I mention altering clothes is fast becoming more trouble than it's worth? I think we finally got all of them figured out, so my next trip in to the cleaners should be to pick them up… but sheesh! It's taken forever. It's painfully obvious that she really won't be able to take them in anymore once I lose more. And at best these will probably only give me another 20 pounds. No way they will last for another 50 pounds.

So, today I made a trip to Ross to check out their pants. Just to see if I could make them work. I found one pair of jeans that I thought might be big enough that I decided to try it on and a pair of khakis that I really wasn't sure would work, but I liked them, so it was worth a shot.

Drumroll please… THEY FIT! The jeans fit! Actual normal jeans with a set waist band. That I found at an actual brick and mortar store. And they buttoned up. And I could breathe. And when I took them off, I found I could actually pull them off without unbuttoning them. It was a sweet moment. Unfortunately, they weren't a style that I liked. BUT THEY FIT! The khakis fit too. They were a touch tighter than I normally would have liked, but knowing that the weight is only gonna go down… I decided to get them. They are a little tight, but I can still wear them now. I can sit down and still breathe. And they will only get looser. Having them a little tight means they will last longer. And I've been wanting some nice khaki pants for awhile. I also found a couple of shirts and a skirt that I loved.

However… since finding jeans was a no-go, I then stopped by at Lane Bryant. The largest size they had was actually a size smaller than the one I tried on at Ross. But because those fit so well, I decided it was worth a try… AND THEY FIT TOO! And they had a style that I liked, so I bought a couple of pair. They are, what is referred to as, "skinny jeans" but they don't fit they are painted on, like some skinny jeans I've seen. But because they are of the "skinny jean" style… I think they will last me a little longer too. The coolest part of these jeans is that by sheer number… they are the same size I wore in high school. That may be a vanity sizing thing I'm running into, because I'm not sure I'm quite there yet.  Although, to be honest, I really don't know. I know what weight I claimed on my first drivers license, but I never bothered to actually weigh myself so who knows how accurate that wasn't.

But either way… I was so excited about that, I called my sister from the car. I couldn't help it. I can't remember the last time I was able to fit into normal jeans that could be found at an actual store. She asked me what was up. I told her I had to share my exciting news. She asked "how much have you lost now?" (I sent her a pic a week ago of me holding the two shot bags from the previous post.) I told her about the jeans… and that my next goal was to be able share jeans with her (that will be 4 sizes smaller than the ones I just bought). Once I get to that point, the next stop will be to be able share jeans with my oldest sister. And I have no idea what size she wears. But she's only 20 pounds higher than my goal weight…. so that will be HUGE when I get to that point.

Anyway… once at home, I realized as I start bringing more clothes in… I really need to make myself get rid of some. Either by throwing them away or donating them. That was harder than I thought it would be. I still like these clothes! And they are still in good shape. They are just 2 sizes too big now. And some of them literally look like a tent on me. I'm a little nervous to get rid of them until I have stuff to replace them. I think I pulled out one dress, two shirts, and one pair of jeans. The jeans are giving me anxiety. I haven't yet been able to actually put them in the donate bag. The other ones are old enough that I'm okay with getting rid of those.

Progress

WE MADE IT!

Weigh in tonight came in at a total loss of 52 pounds. That's 1/4 of the way to my goal.

Yesterday, I was talking about it with my sister. And 50 pounds in my mind equals 2 bags of shot. Yes, I know that says something about the family I grew up in! It doesn't equal a bag of flour or sugar. It equals 2 bags of shot. I remember hauling them as a kid. They were heavy buggers (you know, when you're only 10!). So, I wanted to feel what 50 pounds felt like. My sister had a few bags of shot in her reloading area (she inherited all that kind of stuff when my dad died), so we went downstairs and I asked her to load up a couple of bags on my shoulders. I was a little nervous… because I remember how heavy they were as a kid trying to haul them. She loaded me up… then I wanted a picture to commemorate the moment. But I had left my phone upstairs, so then I climbed the stairs with those things on my shoulders. I think that alone says a lot about how far I've come in sheer fitness if nothing else, because I don't think I could have done that 50 pounds ago. Well, I probably could have done it, but it would have kicked my trash! And I probably wouldn't have done it.

But anyway. So, we took a picture of me carrying those 50 extra pounds again on my shoulders. Here you go.

For the record…. I have about three shirts that I have kept throughout the years even though they have progressively gotten too small to wear comfortably… much less look decent. I kept them mostly because I loved them and they were still in good shape and I hated the idea of throwing them out. They are what I have jokingly referred to as my "skinny clothes"(although I'm far from skinny!). The shirt I am wearing in these pictures is one of those. It is over 10 years old. I would bet that it dates back to 2002. And it fits me! And it hangs off my boobs like it's supposed to, instead of resting on my stomach.

Anyway. I don't think I mentioned… A couple of weeks ago, I headed out to Ross to see if they had any clothes that would fit me. Mostly out of curiosity. I was able to find 2 shirts and a dress that fit and I liked. I am hesitant to spend a lot of money on clothes, because I know I'll only shrink out of them. But, at the same time, I can't be wearing my old clothes until I get to my goal weight… I'm going have to get new eventually. So, while at Ross, I had in my mind a few guidelines. One, I was looking for shirts… good basic staples that I could wear with anything…. jeans, khakis, black dress pants, or a skirt. And that were of the style that they would see me through the next 40 pounds or so. The dress I bought was a different style (different fabric, pattern, and style) than what I usually wear, so I wasn't sure how it would go over. I liked it because it was different. And because it fit my criteria. It would see me through several more pounds (lost!). But I wasn't sure how it would be received. I wore it to church last week. Apparently I made a good choice. I got a lot of compliments on the dress. And I got my first comment from someone outside my family (and a few select friends who knew that I was trying) that they could tell I had lost weight. It took 49 pounds to get there… but that felt great.

I may have mentioned… I can't remember… that I dropped off a few clothes at the dry cleaners about a week ago to get some alterations done. To see if they could take them in, so they fit better. She wanted me to come back yesterday once she was done basting them, to try them on again and see how they worked. The jeans looked great. But the other 3 items were still too big. The black pants especially. She had to take an additional 2-3 inches off the black pants. Another inch on the skirt, and another 2-3 inches on the dress. So, I still don't have them… but I should be able to pick them up next Thursday. But I can tell that that's gonna be it for them. I don't think she'll be able to take them in again. So, I may take my other jeans in to get them taken in… but I think I better start checking out Wal-Mart or Target and see if I can fit into their pants yet. I'm not optimistic. I think it's still a little early. And I have a tricky figure to fit. But it's a nice problem to have!

What I Like Best

Someone asked the question on one of the forums on My Fitness Pal… "what do you like about losing weight?" The following was my response. (I copied and pasted it)

Well, I still have a ways to go… but…

-My clothes fitting looser and being able to buy smaller sizes. 
-Feeling lighter on my feet. I feel like I *walk* down the hall instead of clomp.
-Confidence in the future. Even if I can't do it yet… I now know it's possible. It's in my future. (Ex: I want to be able to run a 5k with my  family next July 4th… I can't do it yet… but I know it'll be possible for me by then!)
-Not being ashamed. (I used to hate it when my co-workers would talk about losing weight. I would remain totally silent in conversations because I was I ashamed that I was the biggest of them all, but not the one doing something about it. I like that I feel like I can join in their conversations and that even though I'm still the biggest of them all… I don't have to be ashamed of it now… because I'm losing)
-Not worrying about potential health problems. (I'm still young and I have good genetics, so I haven't had any health problems due to my weight… but there was always the possibility that someday it would catch up to me)
-Having more money. (I may be buying more fresh food, which is supposedly more expensive… but I'm eating significantly less, so I'm still saving money.
-I don't feel guilty about camping out on the couch for an evening with my favorite show or scrapbooking my night away because I'm still getting my exercise and I'm still losing weight… so I don't feel shame in the fact that several of my interests are sedentary ones. 
-I love hearing my sister say that I inspire her and that she wishes I could siphon some of my determination into her. (I've always admired HER determination!)
-more energy. I used to be tired ALL THE DAMN TIME! Now, I still work a graveyard shift… but I feel like I have the energy to do things. 
-I like not huffing to catch my breath for 5 minutes after coming up the stairs. 
-I like seeing myself in pictures and not cringing. (and I still have a long way to go… so it can only get better!)

I could go on forever.

Soooo Close!

Well, after a couple of weeks on the new program… I'm much less sore than I was the first week. However, the workouts themselves still kill me! Just last night was a legs night on the weights. Holy stink! My legs felt like Jell-O afterwards. And trying to go into cardio afterwards felt like torture. Just walking was a chore. Suffice it to say… I just did the bare minimum of cardio recommended by my trainer that night. I was DONE! It was not my finest workout. I'm thinking next week, I'll do the legs first, then do the back. That way I'll have a few minutes of recovery before I hop on the treadmill.

I'm trying to up my water intake. I've been doing really good at getting my 8 cups up to this point. But according to almost everything I've seen, 8 is the bare minimum. Apparently I should be getting much more based on my weight and my workouts. That's gonna be rough. I like water. But I don't get thirsty that often I feel like I'm just having to chug it in order to get it down. And then you get the water-logged feeling. I've heard people have an easier time when they use a straw. So I'm thinking one of those plastic cups with a straw attached might be of benefit to me. I also downloaded an app that will send me notifications every two hours (or whenever I want it to) reminding me to drink more water. We'll see how this works for me. So far tonight… the drinking water certainly has staved off the hunger. It's almost 3:30 and I haven't eaten anything yet. Haven't even felt hungry really. And usually 2-2:30 is about my limit before I feel like I need to eat.

Anyway. Another weigh in tonight. Down 49 pounds! SOOO close! It's so close it's almost disappointing. 50 pounds is a milestone I've had in mind for a while now. For one… I had in the back of my mind since early on, "I wonder if I can lose 50 pounds before Micah gets home." (Micah is a niece who has been on a mission. She comes home in September.) I quickly nixed that realizing it was a very lofty goal and I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment if I didn't make it. But it's still been there in the back of my mind. But on the other hand… 50 pounds is 1/4 of the way to my goal. It's a major milestone. Don't get me wrong… I'll still hit that mark before Micah comes home…. and I'll still reach that milestone. It's still an impressive loss and something to be proud of… and I am. But to come that close, but not hit it… is a little disappointing! Not that I'm really disappointed by any means. 49 pounds is a lot of weight and it's come off faster than I ever thought it would. And I still feel good and like I can keep going. But I am waiting for that 50 pound milestone.