When "Can I" Is Irrelevant

Today I finally got my new routine from the trainer. There was a mix up on signing up for a time, so I showed up, thinking I had a time with him and he wasn't planning on me. However, he had my new routine completed, so he took about 5-10 minutes to run me through what he wanted me to do. The main difference was in cardio. All my weights were the same… just higher sets and less reps. So, I was okay with that. Cardio I know. So, 5-10 minutes explaining what he wanted me to do was fine. If there would have been changes with the weights, then I would have needed more time.

So, I followed his new routine for today. It definitely served to get my heart rate up! I have been struggling lately with getting my heart rate up. I don't know if my resting heart rate has slowed down a bit, so it's going to take me a bit more effort than it used to to get my heart rate up… but it's been a struggle. However today… yeah. Not a problem! And the calorie burn was through the roof. This was the first time I'd seen a burn that high.

However, today also tested my determination. Holy stink. Have I ever told you that lateral raises are the very DEVIL? They kick my trash. And he changed up how I did them today. So, the trash kicking level was intensified. And like I mentioned, he upped my sets. I thought my arms were going to fall off.  I kinda wished they would! It was during this time that I had to just force myself to keep going. The thought "I can't do this" kept popping up repeatedly. I had to pull out all my positive thinking mantras.
I finally got to the point where I said to myself "Can I is irrelevant. The question is will I?" Then I realized that wasn't the question either. I would. I will. I did. What I then started saying is "The question is not whether I can. The question is not whether I will. The only question is how much is it going to hurt?"

That thought carried me through the cardio boxes as well (cardio boxes= think the steps used in circuit training). The cardio boxes were the new thing he added to my routine. The only time the trainer put for cardio boxes was "as many as possible." He suggested I start with at least 4. I made it through 7. That was where the heart rate finally got up! And I had to pull out my positive thinking mantras for those as well. After the boxes, I got back on the treadmill for 20 minutes to finish off. I upped my speed and incline just slightly. After the boxes, it was a breeze!

But it was a good feeling finishing that workout. I felt accomplished and kinda proud of myself. I loved my new mantra.

The question is not "can I." The question is not "will I." The only question is "how bad is it going to hurt?"

A Reminder

When I first started this blog… I talked about what GOAL meant to me. There is a reason it's all capitalized. Because in my world… GOAL is an acronym. It stands for "Get Out And Live."

GOAL Inspired Living… is living a life where I choose to Get Out and Live!

This comes up as a result of a few posts I've seen recently on MFP. 

I am not a goal-oriented person. And I'm proud of that. "Goal" is a nasty four-letter word in my world. I attempt to eliminate from my vocabulary as much as possible. I get a little frustrated by people who try to insist that I use "goals" in my life. I try to explain what goal means to me and why I don't like it. Some people then try to define goal for me and explain why it is a positive word and why I should use it. IT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME! (And yes, in this context… using all caps is meant to signify yelling. Because apparently reasonable and intelligent conversation doesn't get through to some people. I'm looking at you G.S.)

In fact… in my attempt to eliminate "goal" from my vocabulary… I'm going to change the phrase "goal weight" to "maintenance weight."

But here is why I do not like the word goal and why I'm trying to eliminate it from my vocabulary. To me… goal is an end point. It is something you work towards and when you reach it… you're done. Mission accomplished. It's kinda like wanting to get my bachelors degree. I worked toward that. And then I accomplished it. And once I did… I didn't keep working on it! That wouldn't make sense. I already had it! And that is what goal means to me. 

Except when it comes to weight loss… if I do that… then I would end up gaining the weight back. A goal is not a lifestyle change. It is something you work for… then when you accomplish it… you pat yourself on the back for a job well done and you move on to something else. 

So, I have chosen not to be goal-oriented. I chose to be process-oriented. I focus on the kind of life I want to have… and I live accordingly. In this area that includes eating healthier and less. It includes getting in regular exercise. If the scale goes down… that's great. Don't get me wrong… I love to see the scale go down. But if it doesn't (it didn't today), I don't get down on myself. I don't feel like a failure. And I don't consider throwing in the towel "'cuz it's not working anyway." I simply keep going. Because the important thing is that I continue doing those things that will allow me to have the life I want. My week is a success if I continually do those things that I need to (eat right… exercise). My week is not a success if I lose weight. 

And therefore… when I get down to my "maintenance weight" (ooh, I really like that term!) it doesn't mean mission accomplished and move on. It means I keep going with what I need to do have the life I want. 

A quote I found that really speaks to me says it well...  

If you focus on results, you'll never change.

If you focus on change, you'll get results.

This works for other areas of my life too. But that is another topic for a different venue. 

Random Current Events

In interest of keeping things current…. the most recent weigh in was 309… aka 72 pounds down. Very exciting stuff. The next milestone to get below 300 is within tasting reach (meaning so close I can almost taste it!). Heck…even 100 pounds down (1/2 way there!) is getting within tasting reach!

I am due for another re-design with the trainer at the gym any day. I need to get an appointment set up.

Did I tell you about my latest great idea to introduce intervals into my cardio routine? Yeah. I got antsy to "up the game" so to speak on my cardio routine. So, one day I upped my walking speed from 3.3 to 3.5 and added in intervals of 5.0. You know… because I'm a masochist! I made it through two 30-second bursts of 5.0 before I felt like I was going to die. And I did the rest of my time at 3.5. But I broke that barrier into jogging (although to me it felt like an outright sprint!). And chances are good that my trainer will want me to start doing intervals once I meet with him for the redesign. And I've got it into my head to run a 5k within the next year.  I actually want to do two of them. One in the spring (the annual 5k that my church hosts) and one on the 4th of July in my hometown. Now as mentioned, the first one of those isn't on the calendar until Spring… and probably later spring at that. So, I've got some time to prepare myself for that… but I figure interval training will be good for me in that process.

I've been trying to recruit my sisters to run it with me but that's been a big fat fail. Without exception, I've gotten a "no way. I can't run." I tried to tell them they had almost a year to prepare for it… but it's still been a no-go. However, one of my nieces has agreed to do it with me. If my brother and my other niece will do it again (they both did it this past July), then there should be 4 of us for that. That is an acceptable showing.

This past weekend I was with my family for a special event. Most of them haven't seen me in 42 pounds. I have sent pictures to my sisters… so they have an idea of where I'm at, but this is the first they've seen me. So, my weight loss was a fairly common topic of conversation throughout the weekend. On Sunday, I had an extended conversation with my brother in-law about how I was doing it.

People at work are starting to comment and ask what I am doing as well.

On MFP… it seems like people are coming out of the woodwork, having seen one of my posts on the forums… and wanting to add me as a friend because I'm inspiring to them.

It's all a little surreal. This is new territory for me. Inspiring is not a word usually used to describe me. I kinda like it… but I kinda don't know what do with it either.