Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Body Composition Testing and Rethinking My… Well, EVERYTHING!

So, tonight my gym was offering free body composition testing. In addition to other things, it measures body fat percentage and gives you your lean body mass. Which is what I was interested in more than anything.

Since I have no frame of reference to go by in deciding what a good goal weight would be for me, I have been kinda going by the BMI scale… although I am aware of it's limitations. I knew body fat percentage offers a much better standard, but finding an accurate way to measure it is difficult.  I was particularly interested in was finding out my lean body mass. I had 180 set as my goal… but one of my friends raised concerns that if I lost that much, I might be losing muscle. I wasn't really concerned that I would lose muscle to get to that point… but I did want to know if it would put me at too low a body fat percentage if I got to that point. So, the opportunity comes for free professional body composition testing… yeah, you better believe I'm taking advantage of that one.

I was a little nervous going into it. I had no idea what my numbers were like 175 pounds ago. I know how far I've come and I really was hoping for a positive result. But my fear was that it would still show how far I have to go and without having any previous numbers to compare it to… it would be hard to take. If I would have had previous tests to compare it to… then even if my numbers were disappointing, I would have had the comparison to show how far I've come. But without that, I was nervous.

So, I measured at 28.5% body fat. And based off of all the charts I could find online… that puts me in the "average" or "acceptable" category. Which I am so very much okay with at this point. I've never been average or acceptable on any measure relating to weight my entire life!

My lean body mass was measured at 154.4 pounds. So, again, I go back to my charts online. Ideally, I would like to be somewhere between 19-22% body fat. At 19% that puts me in the "athletic" category. At 22%, that puts me in the "fitness" category. Which based on my calculations, that would put my ideal weight somewhere between 190-197. So, with that information… I have changed my "goal weight" to 195. As I have mentioned… my goal weight is in actuality more my "maintenance weight." The weight at which I will switch my goal to maintaining weight, instead of losing it. I expect that I might lose a couple of more pounds while I adjust to figuring out my true maintenance calories. Also, as I've mentioned, I don't like the word "goal." So, that's another reason I prefer the term "maintenance weight."

That puts me really, really close to my "goal." Which is exciting and scary at the same time! It's a little unreal to me. Already at this weight… I am considered average or acceptable. Not obese. Not unhealthy. Not even above average. How did that happen? I mean… that's been the entire point for the last 13 months… but now that it's here… it's kinda mind boggling. How did that happen? I never really doubted the process. Calorie deficit leads to weight loss… ALWAYS. It's been proven time and time again. I would literally have to defy the laws of physics for it to not work. So, I always believed it would work for me. I am not that unique! But now that I'm finding myself basically "normal"… I can't hardly believe it. I mean, who woulda guessed that I could be a normal weight, normal size person? I've been big my entire life. If I'm "acceptable" or "average" now based on my age and my height…. I am actually smaller than I have been (relatively speaking) since I was 4 years old! My whole family is big. And whatever happened to losing weight being such a hard thing to do?

And whatever happened to me having no motivation or ambition? In a way, I'm having to redefine myself! Everything I've ever believed about myself… I'm finding that I've just proved myself wrong. Which is stinkin' cool! But weird! And a little scary. Who am I? Last weekend I went shopping with my niece and she kinda chuckled watching me pick out medium sized shirts to take to the dressing room (they fit! A MEDIUM!). And she asked me "who are you and what did you do with Shanon?" I responded with "This is me. It's just that that other girl ate her. And I finally just escaped."

But is that true? Do I really believe it? And I don't know! I kinda do. Some of my family members have told me how I've changed (beyond just the weight), but I don't see it. I feel like I'm just me… the same person I've always been. So, in a way… yes, I do believe it. This is me! Finally able to be who I truly am. But then again… like I said, I'm finding that everything I've believed about myself I'm proving wrong.

Anyway. It's just interesting. Another way in which I'm having to get used to a life I never expected. Don't get me wrong… It's not bad. In fact, it's downright awesome! But it is a life I never expected.

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