Celebration and Affirmation

WOOOHOOO! 

Can I write that any larger? Can I emphasize it any more?

This weigh in on Friday put me below 300. 296 to be exact. Which is a total of 85 pounds down. I can't begin to say how thrilling that is! Seeing a 2 as the first number somehow seems… I don't know the word. But it feels like the biggest milestone to date. I can't imagine that even losing 100 pounds would be more thrilling to me than this has been. It starting to make this seem real… like, "Wow. I really am losing weight. I can do this." All my other goals still to come, all of a sudden seem doable now. It somehow feels like I'm not so huge anymore. Being in the 200's somehow seems like "normal" overweight… not like "embarrassingly huge" overweight. I mean, I obviously still have a long way to go… but this one has probably been the most surreal moment yet. I can't hardly believe that number can belong to me! When I think about it… it kinda brings tears to my eyes. 

I don't know how long it's been since I've been that weight. My weight is something I've never really wanted to know. Even when I've gone to doctors appointments, I have not paid attention to what the scale said. The last time I was aware of my weight was about 9-10 years ago when I attempted to lose weight before. I was about 350 then. Before that however… the only time I can really remember knowing what I weighed… was back in second grade. And I know that will not be a number I will reach. It wouldn't be healthy for me to get back to that weight! My sister believes that I'm smaller than when I came back from my mission and supposes that I'm at my high school weight. I don't know. I know that the jeans I'm currently wearing have the same number on the label that the jeans I wore in high school had. But with vanity sizing… I don't know if that really means anything. 

If you know me… you know that there is one person that I trust 100% with everything. He is my dearest friend, my greatest supporter/cheerleader, and somewhat of a father figure to me… and I can't tell you how much I love him. As a man… and an older one at that… he would never comment on my weight. He's way too respectful to do that. Maybe being married and having two daughters, he's learned that comments on a woman's weight are at best, a loaded gun. But in the process of conversation a few weeks ago, I mentioned that I am trying to lose weight. He didn't really comment on it. Took it with about as much reaction as if I had mentioned I was trying to grow my hair out. And that was fine. It was appropriate considering the context of the conversation. Today I was walking around the neighborhood, which is the extent of any exercise I do on Sundays. I pass his house on my route. Today he was just pulling in his driveway as I was coming up to his house. He stopped briefly to wait for me. Put his hand on my shoulder and said "you're looking good kiddo. What you're doing is working." I thanked him and continued on my way. But coming from him… it made my day. He loves me and is my biggest supporter. Anything I do that is even remotely positive… he supports and will help me with as much as he can. But he is also 100% honest with me. And he will call me on my crap. He won't blow smoke. And while he will say things to be nice and be supportive… he won't say it if he doesn't mean it. And that brief affirmation… meant the world to me.