Where To Go From Here?

I just came back from a weekend with my family. I'm starting to get the well-meaning concern from my family about "you might want to stop now… you don't want to lose too much." Right now… they think I look great and they are proud of me and are probably a little relieved that I've done this now before I started having significant health problems because of my weight. But when I tell them, I still want to lose 40 more pounds… they get nervous. I currently weigh 220. One hundred and sixty one pounds ago… when I told them my goal was 180, they thought it was a great goal for my height. That I would look really good at that weight. But now that they are seeing the weight come off… and how much smaller I am… they are wondering where those 40 pounds are going to come from.

Believe me… I can point out numerous places where those 40 pounds can come off of.

But it does make me wonder. I have never been this small. The last time I weighed this I was probably a foot shorter! (Okay, that's an exaggeration. But you get what I'm saying.) I don't have a time I can look back at when I looked my best or felt my best… since today is the time I look my best and feel by best. I can't look back to when I was a healthy weight. Because I was probably 2 years old the last time I was a healthy weight. I have no frame of reference to go by in determining what would be a good weight for me. The only thing I have to go by is my oldest sister and the BMI scale. My oldest sister is the same height I am. Or awful close. And she is the smallest one (size wise and weight wise) out of all my siblings. She currently weighs 195. And according to the BMI scale… 180 is still considered "overweight." Not by much… maybe 5-10 pounds. But I'm okay with that for a few reasons… one: it is best applied to large groups of people, not individuals. Two: it only accounts for total weight… not fat vs. muscle. "The Rock" is considered obese according to BMI standards. Three: I suspect it's going to take me a little bit of time to bump up my calories to maintenance level and figure out what that level is for me. I suspect I will lose a few more pounds in the interim. And four: I'm going to have some significant loose skin to deal with. I'm guessing between 10-20 pounds of loose skin. Accounting for that… that would put me right where I should be for a normal, healthy weight.

My family's opinions falls into two categories. 1) 20 more pounds max. 2) Stop now and just work on "toning up." I'm willing to go for another 20 pounds and reevaluate and see where I'm at. I'm not willing to just stay at 220. At 220, I'm still considered obese. While I understand the limitations of the BMI scale (as noted in the previous paragraph), that's just not acceptable to me. I'm willing to accept still being considered "overweight." I'm not willing to stay obese. It seems to me that stopping now would be akin to giving up. "I've done it long enough. I'll just learn to be okay with this." It would feel like settling for something less. And I don't need to settle. If I can lose 161 pounds in less than a year… I can surely lose 201 pounds eventually.

My sister did give me a name of plastic surgeon who does skin removal. She suggests I go in for a (free) consultation and get a medical opinion on what would be a good weight for me and what he thinks can be done and what the end results would be. She also suggested I talk to one of my teachers from high school who lost a great deal of weight (granted hers was through bariatric surgery) and had her excess skin removed as well (and by the way… she looks great).

Both of those are good suggestions. I can absolutely contact Mrs. Street as she's one of my FB friends. And of all my old teachers… she is the one I have the relationship with that I can talk to her about this stuff. And I do think it's a good idea to seek medical advice. However… I'm thinking I should start with a PCP (primary care physician) and get his opinion on a healthy weight for me. Also, I would want to be closer to that weight before meeting with the surgeon. If the consultation is free… I don't want to waste it by going in too soon… before I'm actually at where I want to be.

However… on a lighter note… it was great being with my family this past weekend. I loved finding out that I was wearing the same size as my oldest sister. She looks better in them than I do though! I got another sister to take a few pictures of me this weekend too. I wanted to see what 161 pounds lost looks like. Turns out, I love the way it looks.

Here are a few of those photos.

And finally… one last picture. A comparison of almost one year.