Support

I get a little frustrated by the people on MFP who complain that they have no support.

NEWSFLASH! You are an adult. Take responsibility for yourself. Your weight loss (or weight gain!) is not dependent on anyone else. Period. No exceptions.

Let me introduce you to myself for a moment. I'm single (no husband, no boyfriend). Childless. I live alone… Kind of. I rent the upstairs of my sisters house. We share a kitchen and a laundry room, but that's it. We don't share food or meals. And yes… I pay rent every month. I work full time to be able to support myself. Both my parents are dead. My friends are mostly (like a vast majority) married with children. And most of them (all but one) live more than an hour away from me. My friends are either healthy weight (and have been their entire life) or are overweight but are doing nothing about it. My siblings (I have 4) are all technically overweight or obese… some by greater degrees than others. And 3 out 5 of us (including myself) have been our entire life. The other two have been their entire adult life. Two of them have successfully lost some weight. But both of them follow diet plans that are unsustainable for me. The other two say they need to lose weight, but then don't do anything about it. Needless to say no one in my family eats the same way I do. I have two co-workers that I work with on a regular basis and have for several years... They are both overweight (probably technically considered obese). They both have tried diet after diet including Atkins, HCG, Weight Watchers, etc). They have both lost weight and put it back on. Again and again. Neither one of them believe that calorie deficit is what will help you lose weight. Both have argued with me time and time again on that point. Lately they've stopped arguing as they can see it's worked for me… but they still won't listen. So, I've stopped talking. When I go the gym, I go alone. When I go for walks… I have one sister who will join me. But she lives 5 hours away… so it's only those few times a year that we are together for family events that I have a walking buddy.

So, let me tell you what support looks like for me… the trainer (and maybe two other staff) at the gym will tell me I look good and the trainer will occasionally inquire about how much weight I've lost. A couple of the regulars at the gym will also tell me I'm looking good. When I send "brag" texts to my sisters I will get a "you're awesome. Good job."And when I do see them, they will tell me I look good. The sister I live upstairs from is obviously the one I talk to about this stuff the most. She regularly tells me I'm looking good and makes random occasional jokes about how she's gonna have to start being nicer to me because now I'm getting strong enough I can pound her in the ground if I want. She does not join me on my walks. And has stated on one more than one occasion that she hates gyms. She also talks about those who go to the gym with a vague air of condescension… and has stated that basically they are selfish, vain people who don't think of anybody but themselves. And while she agrees with the idea of CICO… and believes that I'm going about this the right way, she thinks I carry things a bit too far by weighing and measuring my food. In case you haven't figured it out… she is one of my two siblings that says she needs to lose weight, but doesn't do anything about it. But for Christmas… at my request, she did buy me a HRM and a sport arm band to hold my phone, and gave me a few gift cards for places I could buy clothes… since I'm shrinking out of them rather quickly. That's what support looks like for me.

I will never complain about about not having support. In my mind, I have an amazing supportive family. And I have amazing supportive friends. But none of them follow the same eating plan I do. None of them workout with me. None of the will push or even encourage me to workout. If I decided not to go one day… nobody would say a thing. Wouldn't even ask why. If I sleep late, nobody is gonna come push my butt out of bed. If I decided to pound down a dozen donuts… nobody would say anything. If I go overboard on a meal… they don't even notice (because most likely, I'm eating the same amount they are). And every last one of them will suggest high calorie restaurants (is there another kind?!) when we go out. And they certainly don't hesitate in offering me high cal food/drinks.

Just because it doesn't look like you want it to… or think it should… or come from the people you think it should... It doesn't mean you have no support. And I'm sure there are people out there who really have no support. Maybe their family makes fun of them for being heavy and refuses to recognizes their efforts at trying to change. Maybe they don't think they need to lose weight and wonder why they are even bothering. Maybe some of them actually do try to sabotage you. But I would daresay that most people do have support… even if it doesn't look the way they think it should. And for those that don't… I'm sorry. That sucks. But suck it up. It is not a valid excuse. You are an adult. And nobody owes you anything. Nobody has to understand what you are "going through." Nobody has to follow your same eating plan. Nobody has to workout with you. This is your life. Your journey. It's okay if they don't understand it… it's not for them. It's okay if they don't workout with you or follow your same eating plan… maybe they have different goals or priorities.