Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Update and My Own Little Pep Talk

One week in….

Discovered a scale in the ladies room at the gym that will go up to 400 pounds… which means it measures me. The weight I weighed in at was 381. That's a little hard on my ego. I knew I was up there, but to actually come face to face with it is a different story. But at least I know the true starting point. And now, I have access to a scale that I can use to track myself. This discovery was just made on Saturday. So I'm gonna wait for a few days to do my first weigh in. I'm not expecting anything huge. I'll just be happy if it's less. 

I'm still easing into the diet portion of this. According to my oh-so-official internet research… eating 2000 calories a day will approximately put me at 1000 calories LESS than what I need to just maintain my current weight. One thousand calories less a day puts me at 7000 for a week. Which is what I would need for a 2 pound weight loss. That does not take into consideration any of my workouts. But I admit, I haven't been strictly counting my calories either. I pay attention to labels and serving sizes, so I can keep a loose tally. And my snacks consist of fresh fruits and veggies. The other morning I went out to breakfast with some co-workers. It might not have been my best dietary choice. But I did better than I might have otherwise. And I did work out and the rest of my day was in line. I figure if this is something I want to be able to keep up for the long haul I have to be able to do that on occasion. 

We are not talking Biggest Loser kind of numbers here. But that's okay. This isn't a contest. Like I said, if I'm going to be able to lose this weight and then keep it off… this has gotta be a lifestyle change. And it's gotta be something I can stand to do for the long haul. 

I spent 5 years on a spiritual overhaul. FIVE YEARS! There was plenty of times when I didn't go forward. In fact, there were plenty of times I actually went backwards. There were plenty of times I wondered why I was even bothering to try when I was still going backwards. There were plenty of times when I said "I give up." But there was at least one more time than "plenty" when I started again. And I realized that although, I may have had plenty of "back-sliding" I was still in a better position than if I hadn't tried at all. It took me about five years before I got to a place where I felt like I was in a good place and I felt like I had somewhat sure footing. Then I went into "maintenance mode." Sure I still have my bad days. Even bad months. I still have my back-slides. But I am sooo much better than I was when I first started that overhaul. And when I do back-slide it's so much easier to get back on track than  it used to be. 

FIVE YEARS! It was a hard five years. I faced demons like you wouldn't believe. Demons I didn't even know I had! But I kept at it. I survived. If I can do that… I can certainly keep to this. I'm not saying it's easy. But I faced far scarier demons than my weight before. And no matter happens. I'll be better off than if I had never tried at all. 


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